I will be thirty years old in less than a month, I'm leaving my twenties behind. For the last year I have been lucky enough to work as a VFX artist, but the project I was working on ended. So I'm on the precipice of my thirties and I'm completely broke, about 75 pounds over weight, and addicted to fast food and Marijuana. I've been stealing pot and loose change from my roommate. If things don't change I will be homeless soon and I hate borrowing money from my best friends and my parents. I basically have just turned into a very shitty person and I want to get better. I started this blog right before I moved out to Los Angeles California. I'm not even sure why I started it, maybe to have someplace to put my weird thoughts online, but now it is going to be a journal to help keep me on track to becoming a better person. I have started running again, I've been running on and off all this year, but I want to actually complete this program that my friend Sean told me about. The program is called couch to 5k and it turns you from being a lazy asshole into a 5K runner. I'm on week one now. My goals are: complete the 9 weeks of couch to 5K, stop using pot, stop eating fast food, stop drinking soda, get a job, and in general just be less shitty.
So this will be my journal. I can record my successes and my inevitable failures. I have to change the time is now.
Even now I can feel this craving for McDonalds and soda nagging at the back of my head. I am tempted to go steal a few bucks from my roommate so that at least I can get McDonalds one last time before I start my journey to be better. It's always one last time. It's really sad that I love fast food so much and that I have no control over myself. Whatever keeps me happy and slightly sedated.
I'm not a completely hopeless though, I've been drawing a lot of comic strips and have done stand-up twice in the last month. I will find the strength, I have to. My parents provide a lot of support they are extremely supportive in my crazy goals and I need to make sure that I get on the right track to show them their love and support hasn't been wasted. I have great friends too, the only trouble with my friends is that they all live hundreds of miles away from me. I was really inspired by a stupid cartoon show finale the other day. The main character is running up a hill, he is overweight and out of breath, he collapses on the ground and someone stands over him. It's another runner.
"It Gets easier."
"What?"
"Everyday it gets a little easier, but you have to do it everyday that's the hard part."
